Experiencing Wedding Anxiety? Do These 8 Things To Eliminate Stress...
Photo Credit: Purroy Productions
So you're at the home stretch (!!!) and between your nerves and the bombardment of questions from your bridal party members, family, friends, and wedding guests, you're just over it and wanna smack everyone. But, since resorting to violence is frowned upon (haha!!), I am going to give you some helpful tips to implement during the month and weeks leading up to your wedding, to help calm your nerves a bit. This, of course, is with the general understanding that the majority of the substantial planning has been completed. Hopefully, you have a Wedding Planner that has more than taken the reigns at this point, however, even if you don't, you'll want to implement these strategies and practices at the very least 2-3 weeks out prior to the wedding, but feel free to start as soon as you need to!
1.) Don't Believe In Perfection
Let's just be real here, you're probably super excited about your wedding day, but admittedly, your nerves are still running a bit high because you're concerned with everything going smoothly without a hitch. Especially, since you've invested a good amount of your time, money, and energy into trying to make your day perfect. Well I hate to break it to ya, but as a self-proclaimed perfectionist myself, the truth is that nothing is ever 1000% perfect...Technically speaking. This ladies and gents...THIS is one of the most important concepts to come to terms with. I don't care if you have the best Wedding Planner in the world and every detail is planned down to a T. The truth is, that a great Wedding Planner will do everything in his or her power to see to it that things are as close to perfection as much as possible, but we already anticipate things not going entirely as planned. Yes, even us highly trained and skilled Wedding Planners, realistically, think this way because it is the nature of the job. You wouldn't believe the amount of foolishness that goes on behind the scenes (or maybe you would cause you've heard and read stories). But, a skilled Wedding Planner will do everything they can to resolve these situations covertly, as to not get the couple involved and stressed out with any unnecessary drama or madness on their wedding day. Of course us Wedding Planners want everything to be absolutely perfect, but we've also seen and facilitated way too many weddings and events, to not know any better.
Now, please believe me when I say, that I am not trying to add more unnecessary stress on your plate. However, I have to keep it all the way real, and it's important to understand the concept of false perfection, and know that it is OK for things to not be absolutely perfect. Not only will it better prepare you mentally for minor things that may happen unexpectedly, but it will also help you to process your emotions in a healthy manner as opposed to being blindsided with surprises and reacting in a way that you might later regret.
"Perfection is not attainable,
But if we chase perfection
We catch excellence."
One of the vendors may on an off-chance be caught in some insane traffic (despite the fact that they left their house super early to get to the venue early) causing things to be a bit delayed...Yes, one of your bridesmaids may have forgotten to grab her bouquet at the hotel...Yes, the ringbearer may be crying down the aisle for his Mommy...The truth is that things happen and you just have to breathe in and breathe out, woosah, and 'roll with the punches' (this is what one of my favorite friendors tells me anytime she sees me looking stressed). You have to keep re-training your brain to look for the silver lining in things that may not go 100% as planned. My point is, do not let minor inconveniences have the power to ruin what is suppose to be one of the most important and best days of your life! You may think it's a big deal at the time, but you'll look back on it and say ya know what...It wasn't that serious because I married my best friend and we had the time of our lives surrounded by the love and support of our family and friends, and THAT ladies and gents is what is truly most important!
2.) Schedule a ME Day
That's right, spoil yourself! This is your live, laugh, love moment, so live it up in all it's glory. Since you're at the home stretch, you're probably running on fumes at this point and you're beyond over the wedding planning portion. So, it's important to decompress and release all the nerves and anxiety you might be feeling. I don't care if your selfcare consists of a going to a spa, soaking in an epsom bath, or binge watching Game of Thrones with a bowl of popcorn. Whatever you normally do to decompress and relax...DO THAT! And, please don't feel guilty about it either. You need to look your best and if you've been following me for a while then you know that I always preach that health is wealth and that you must take care of the inside for it to reflect on the outside. So book that foot massage, or sit up and binge-watch RHOBH with your favorite meal and a massager. You'll be glad you did and thank yourself for it!
3.) Schedule a Date Night
So you're definitely going to want to revel in the last moments of your fiancé/fiancée stage. This is an opportunity for you two to go out and have fun as an engaged couple one more time prior to the big show! So schedule a date night a week before or during the week of the wedding. It doesn't have to be this elaborate, hardcore date either. It could be as simple as going out and getting ice cream at the parlor where you two first locked eyes, or a dinner and a movie, or a couple's massage. Whatever you two decide to do, make sure you do it freely without any high expectations other than having straight fun in order to calm your nerves. Goof off, laugh, and enjoy yourselves! Don't stress about the wedding. Instead think about how your future will look with each other.
4.) Game Day Prep
So you or your Wedding Planner or Wedding Coordinator would have probably already developed a scheduled timeline for the wedding day at this point (and if you haven't then that is something to definitely do). I know...I know I mentioned that despite all the planning it's impossible to control everything, and some things might not go exactly as planned, in tip #1. However, that does not mean that we just throw caution to the wind. You still should at the very least have somewhat of a game plan in place (for you specifically) to mitigate any potential mishaps. More specifically, I am talking about the time you set your alarm to wake up, how long your shower will take, have your bags/luggage packed and ready to go 2-4 nights in advance with a checklist, when will the makeup artist start your session. Remember we're aiming for greatness no matter what the day throws at us! That is always the attitude to have. Like trying to ace the bar exam. If you're nervous and only have enough confidence to not fail then the likelihood is you're gonna fail, but if you're attempting to pass with flying colors then you're gonna do better than you think! Remember it's all in the mind. So make sure to plan your entire day out (or at the very least, everything leading up to the big moment!!!).
*Oh, which brings me to another very important part of game day prep! This specifically applies to those who do not have a Wedding Planner nor Coordinator, and it is to designate a family or friend that you trust to be the one responsible for rallying up groups of wedding guests who love to mingle and talk and ignore the photographer's numerous requests to arrange themselves from tallest to shortest for family portraits. Hey(!!!)...It's your wedding day and you shouldn't have to worry about yelling at family members to take pictures or instructing them to be quiet and listen to the photographer, which reminds me that you may want to check out my blog post that talks about Couple's Biggest Wedding Day Regrets.
5.) Work It Out
That's right honey. You gotta schedule a workout session. We got to effectively release all of that pent up frustration, and exhaustion from planning the wedding. And, what better way to do this than with a dance session, kickboxing session, or some sort of workout of some kind? I don't care how you move your body, just do! I don't care if you didn't hit your goal weight either! And if you did, well then GREAT! But just know that whether or not you did, you're going to look and feel great dammit! The love of your life will see you walking down the aisle and still will think you're the best looking one there! Trust me, a great dance session has helped me release a lot of my anxiety plenty of times, and I am sure it'll do the same for you!
6.) Breathe In, Breathe Out
Not to get all woo-woo on you, but believe it or not learning to slowly inhale and exhale will do wonders for your nerves. You're basically training your brain to decompress and relax when situations get tense. Now this relaxation technique can definitely be tweaked for everyone cause everyone is different. Maybe you just need 30 minutes or more to yourself in a room away from everyone, maybe you need a good cry session, maybe you need to vent to your mom, sister, cousin, or best friend, or maybe you just need to slowly count up to 10 or 20. However way you do it, make sure to practice whatever helps you to relax, as much as possible. Practice different breathing techniques and affirmations like "I will focus on the fact that I get to marry my best friend cause that is the most important thing;" "I have faith that everything will happen exactly how it is meant to;" "I will remain calm, patient, and in control of my emotions;" I will release all worry surrounding my wedding day."
7.) Check-In With Your Vendors
You'll want to send an email (or whatever is their preferred method of communication) with all your vendors (Especially, if you don't have a Wedding Planner; and even if you do and you want that extra reassurance and peace of mind, then ask to be cc'd on the vendor emails between the Wedding Planner and your vendors). Remember everyone wants you to be in the best of spirits and have a positive attitude going into everything, so it isn't too much to ask. Plus you're paying your vendors to carry out tasks and so confirming arrival times and departure times, and verifying that everything is still going as scheduled, is being extremely responsible and thorough, which is very much necessary!
8.) Send Out a Mass Message To Your Family & Friends
And, last, but certainly not least, you'll want to send a mass text or email to your family, bridal party members, and friends, that you are taking your wedding week "off" from any unnecessary wedding stressors because you want to be in the right headspace prior to the wedding and you do not want to be triggered with the influx of wedding questions, unless it is extremely important (!!!). By now, all pertinent information should've already been communicated via the website, invite, or whatever method you've used and they can get their questions answered accordingly. I also recommend stating a disclaimer that this isn't to be taken personally by anyone, and that you feel it is best for your mental health to remain calm and clear of any unnecessary stressors. If you've followed me for a while, then you know that I am a big proponent of mental health and setting boundaries, so that you're in your best frame of mind.
Well guys...That's all for now! I really hope you found these tips extremely helpful! Be sure to share this blog with your family, friends, colleagues, and anyone else who you think could benefit from this information! Also if you enjoyed this blog post, then this is just tip of the iceberg! Make sure to join my VIP list so that you're in the know of all our juicy tea, tips, wedding & event package specials, and more lifestyle content. Get on the VIP list here.
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