Chapter 38: Mental Metamorphosis...

Well here we are folks! A whole 'nother year later...And, since last year's post was so well received...I thought I'd share the life lessons I've learned 365 days later, as a woman who is truly living & romanticizing her late 30s.

What can I say, other than, where has the time gone...?? It just seems like, as soon as you reach that pinnacle point of realizing that you're a full-blown ADDDULT (as in NO MORE excuses for not having most of your ish together), the years seemingly pass you by in what feels like seconds! And, I am not exempt from feeling the gravity of the BIG 40, as I gradually approach the next decade.

Realistically-speaking, I'm not one to fear getting older per say. Actually, dare I say, I semi-like it (minus the achy joints of course haha). I've grown and become more wiser, and have evolved into who I am supposed to be (at least at this point in my life). And, I cannot help but STILL feel this inner knowing that I have barely even scratched the surface. Call it a woman's intuition. Call it having Crazy Faith. Or just call it, being a passionate entrepreneur who is relentless in seeing her hard work pay off. Whatever you want to call it, just know that I FEEL it!

I always say that society has a way of projecting where, who, what, & where we should be. Shit, I'd be lying if I said I didn't, at one point, cosign to these societal standards myself. But, I am a true living example and definition that you can do things differently, and, yes, blithely, without the care of what others think. By the way, spoiler alert for my young'ins out there (!!!)...This actually becomes wayyy more easier with each passing year. But, I would be lying if I didn't say that I would have loveddd to have had the knowledge and the wisdom that I currently have now...In my 20s! Only because it would have been OVER for these bitches haha!! But, I guess that's the irony of it all....Growing older is actually a beautiful process of evolving, and becoming more of who you actually ARE at your core. Yes, when you strip all the variables that help shape and mold you, you're left with getting down to the nitty-gritty and asking yourself - WHO AM I, really?  And being okay with the answer!

Anyway, having said all of that, it's been a whirlwind of a year, full of ups and downs. But another year of learning, growing, evolving, and tapping IN. Still asking myself those difficult questions that eventually lead to more shadow work. Another year of analyzing what I've done well, what I could have done differently, and where I could have improved. It's not easy for me to admit that. But, that's just another true example of my growth. Lastly, it has been another year of setting boundaries of what I will, and will not allow nor tolerate in my life.

Now, I'm sharing all the things I took note of this past year, in no particular order. Some are silly truths, and some are grave realities that might hit home. Read on to see if any of them resonate with you! Oh and disclaimer, some of these things are definitely reiterations from last year's blog post. But, I'm just taking that as confirmation that they are definitely true! ;-)

30 MORE Things I Learned In My 30s...

1.) You think you've reached a point of "Ahhh I FINALLY got this...I'm starting to figure things out. You start to think that everything comes together clearly in your 30s (especially, your LATE 30s). You think you've gotten it ALLLLL figured out. I know where I'm at, where I'm going, and where I want to be. And then LIFE goes PSYCHE! PLOT TWIST! Nice try...EVERY.FREAKIN'.TIME. Haha!!

2.) Things you thought you've healed from because you did the necessary shadow work, start to creep back up again. And, next thing you know, you find yourself being gaslit & triggered from the very thing you thought you healed from. Again, life says PSYCHE!

3.) You start to realize why your grandparents fridge used to be full of seltzer bottles and prune juice. I'm literally obsessed with seltzer water. Haven't quite made it to liking prune juice just yet, but I've always loved cranberry juice, so I'd say that's a close second. But yeah...Seltzer (lemon-lime flavor) or water w/lemon is literally the only thing I'm interested in drinking. And on the off-chance that I am craving something different...It's gonna be cranberry or pomegranate juice with a 90% water to 10% juice ratio. Just call me a Golden Girl at this point Haha!!

4.) All you want to listen to is old tunes. And I can't believe N'SYNC falls in line with what is considered the oldies station now.

5.) Gone are the days where you could just drop 10lbs easily. Chile...it's gonna take two or triple times the work in the gym versus in your 20s haha!! And, don't even get me started about indulging in one too many snacks, because all the progress made at the gym is instantly shot once you grab them bag of chips. You realize that your metabolism in your teens and 20s was in full-on beast mode haha!!

6.) Oh (!!!) And with all the physical body changes you're like damn I can't believe I was so hard on my body image in my 20s and I should've appreciated that body more back then. So you start to appreciate it NOW! Make water your best friend, along with eating healthy, exercise (find what works for you whether that's karate, pilates, kickboxing, or cardio), & good skincare. If you're in interested in what I call my "holy grail" face products then click here!

7.) We literally become updated versions of our parents. All those times you thought your parents were listening to boring news...And now look at us! Always talking about politics and what is going on in the world. Remember how we used to think adult topics were a snoozefest....?? Welp, that's us now!

8.) You'll have this insatiable desire to see the world. In your 20s and early 30s...You thought you had all the time in the world. And now, you're like the time is NOWWW. Traveling and immersing yourself in the knowledge of other cultures, people, places, & things is essential and necessary. Especially, as an escape from life's mundane day-to-day activities. Preferably, a few times a year. Yes, even if you have kids!

9.)  You naturally start driving closer to the speed limit and give side-eye to the speed demons knowing you were once one (insert "covering the eyes" emoji).

10.) Friendships & relationships will fall out. Some, you'll outgrow, and some you'll just realize that you've come to a point where there are certain behaviors that you refuse to tolerate any longer. It'll hurt, but you have to hold true to your standards and say if they cared they would not engage in certain behaviors that they know will ultimately hurt you. 

11.) You realize more than ever, that everything does happen for a reason even though we might not see it at first. Things that didn't initially go our way end up, ultimately, being for the best in the long run. Remember, re-direction is all God's protection.

12.) If you're lucky enough to still have one or both parents, you start to consider things like them aging and what caring for them will look like.

13.) Naturally, you become more confident with age. That festering, subconscious, need for wordly validation becomes nonexistent. You also realize people who you initially thought you were cool with, were actually ones creating & spreading false narratives of you to fit their perception of reality. All while, you're behind the scenes cheering them on & supporting them like a damn naive fool haha. Again (as mentioned last year), you realize, a lot of this is projection and that you cannot let it distract you from your main focus. Insert reality check here...There are people that may actually hate that you are intelligent, articulate, & confident, and may even dislike you (and I humbly say this) for knowing that, owning that and walking-in-faith, with ALL OF THAT...Some of these energies may revel in your downfall. You just got to chuckle and keep it pushin babe! Cause it is none of your business. Clear your energy of these people because it'll drain you. Just know, that they lost a real one.  

14.) Is it just me or do fast foods now just taste gross?? Like don't get me wrong, I still enjoy a good burger, but not the big chain ones. Like it's got to be a full on truffle-gourmet-sized burger with all the fixings for me to truly appreciate it haha!!

15.) Our reaction of purchasing new appliances is that of a kid in a candy store!

16.) Now you realize why our parents would scream about the lights being on cause yeah it totally bothers me now when all of the lights are on...Cause like why?!?!

17.) You think about the after-effects before you eat just anything; If you know you know...I'll always be a foodie, but I'm not as fearless as I was once with just ANY type of foods haha!!

18.) OH (!!!), and to piggyback off of number 3, you start to thoroughly enjoy healthier foods more. Like, I very much enjoy eating my vegetables. Then you wonder, have your taste buds changed? Or did veggies always hit when you were a kid, and maybe you just didn't appreciate them? I think it's a mixture of both. Our generation's palette discernment was stunted with all the sugary cereals and crap we ate. And so, I think it wired our brains to always just crave sugary foods. Sighs...Hindsight is certainly 20/20.

19.) You finally understand all that back pain your parents and other folks were complaining about and now understand why they wore a knee brace and knee pads. Now, I'm literally guilty of carrying my bottle of arthriten in my purse at all times haha! Oh Lawddd...!!!

20.) I'm pretty sure that I mentioned it in last year's blog, but you realize that true wealth is definitely health! Like fitness & nutrition must be incorporated into my lifestyle somehow or some way. I am definitely no guru nor certified to speak on fitness, but I've made lifestyle changes that have garnered me decent results. Comment below if you'd like me to do a post on what I did/do differently.

21.) If you're single, use extreme discernment and choose wisely when considering a relationship or marriage. I always thought I did that, but the red flags that you catch initially will only manifest tenfold, over time, if they are not addressed & nipped in the bud! And, it doesn't matter whether it's the flirting stage, talking stage, dating stage, or full-blown relationship stage...Pay attention & move accordingly!

21.) I'm pretty sure I mentioned this in last year's post as well...But, your tolerance for bullshit is extremely low. I can't speak for everyone, but personally, I observe, duly note, & move accordingly. So ZERO time for games. I'm very nice, but we all have our limits. This applies to all situations, people, friendships, relationships, & even family.

22.) You start to think about retirement age and what that will look like for you (i.e. considering what age you might want to retire, what lifestyle you'd like to have, etc.).

23.) If you're a woman, you might consider undergoing certain medical procedures like freezing your eggs, if you have not already done so, for future family planning. Medical advancements have made this a reality. Especially, with many people starting a family in their late 30s & 40s as opposed to our parent's generation who did so in their late 20s & early 30s.

24.) Even when your tolerance for bullshit is low, the same doesn't apply for real-life situations. In other words, you become way more understanding if someone cannot make it to a function or things do not go as planned. You learn how to extend grace and how things are just a part of life. But, again, use your discernment. For example, if someone you consider a friend NEVER.EVER makes an effort for you, then you just got to come to terms with what it is babe. And learn to be OK with it.

25.) You might realize and come to accept that you're very different from the norm, and although people might not understand you, your thoughts, beliefs, or perception of certain things, it doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. Au contraire, it just means you've accepted yourself for exactly who you are, and you have zero problems with doing that. Consider yourself the minority and be OK with that.

26.) You become very nostalgic and realize...Damn, I wish I would have taken-in a lot more moments from the good old days, because the world feels like a shit show now. And this is now our reality, so we have to make special moments matter.

27.) Grief is still an inevitable, shapeshifting, dread, that you continuously learn to cope with. As a matter of fact, with each funeral you attend, you're flung right back to the reality of contemplating your own mortality. I wrote a blog post where I interview friend, and licensed Psychotherapist & Mental Health Counselor, on dealing with grief, if you're in search for some tips that may help you on your journey. You also appreciate the signs sent from loved ones that have past on. You might feel an inner-knowing that things are simply not just coincidence. Especially, when these signs come at the right time.

28.) Anytime you're going through something difficult, you start to question if God is even hearing you?? Then he SHOWS out, and your doubts are immediately put to rest. Then you jokingly say, how many more life lessons Lawwdd?!

29.) You finally realize that time is literally just an illusion.

30.) Lastly, you realize that today is the first day of the rest of your life. You can literally change your narrative with just a fingersnap. So, even if life yells PLOT TWIST...You can start writing a new chapter, or even re-write an old one..No, you can't change the past, but you can change the way you process it. So, no more succumbing to societal pressures, or even that of your family. This is YOUR life and you can live it however you see fit. Whatever that may mean for you. Defy the odds, get out of groundhog's day living, and start to really LIVE! The possibilities are endless! Now, go out into the world and make your mark! Whether that is with your passions, family legacy, hobbies, philanthropy. Just simple live it.

Well, there you have it guys! 30 things I learned in my 30s. I hope this post helped or inspired you to look at your 30s as just the BEGINNING and to stand ten toes down for the rest of your 30s!

If you enjoyed this post, then be sure to comment below, and let me know if any of the things I've learned, resonate with you as well. Please share it with your family, friends, colleagues, and anyone who you think could benefit from this post. And, make sure to subscribe to my VIP email guest list if you haven't done so already as to not miss any of the goodies I share every month. And, lastly, follow me on all things social (my tag handle for everything is @mariageblancdesigns).

Until next time, adieu!

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