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Life is quite interesting and very humbling to say the least. And so, are the many lessons that come with each passing decade (if one happens to be so lucky to live for more than several). For some reason (and I am not quite sure why??), society has perpetuated this idea that you're going to have it all together in your 30s, or at least that you're suppose to. Boy, OH BOY(!!!), were a lot of us in for a rude awakening! And so, I decided to get a bit more introspective with the topic at hand, as it pertains to myself.
Photo Credit: Purroy Productions
If you've been following me for a minute and are subscribed as a VIP guest member to my newsletter, then you would have already been privy to the whirlwind of a month I've been having. To summarize, I lost my dear grandfather last week, whom I was really close with. No, he was not sick, and so, yes, it was unexpected and came as quite a shock to me. I almost made it to the hospital to see him one last time as he took his last breath, I broke down and cried at the red light. So needless to say, I have been reeling in my emotions and embarking on yet another journey of grief (sighs). Lately, I've been a bit down in the dumps, and for me, feeling sad has caused me to not post as much on social media. So I've thought of other ways to show up while still remaining true to what I'm dealing with and showing up authentically, as myself. For me, one of the most therapeutic outlets to channel my emotions has been writing my blog.
So that brings me to this post...My birthday is actually coming up this month, and so I thought it'd be poignant to share the life lessons I've realized, learned, and continue to navigate on this life journey. So here are The 30 Things I've Learned In My 30's (Oh and if you've read this far, then it's pretty apparent that we caught a vibe...So you might wanna get to know me a weee bit better in this other blog post, where I answer 37 Random Questions About Me "Vogue Style" to give you a better insight into who I am). So, without further ado...Check out The 30 Things I've Learned In My 30s thus far...
30 Things I Learned In My 30s...
1.) You'll never ever finish your to-do list and it is quite alright. It's been 20 years of me trying to prove myself otherwise, and I have succumbed to the inevitable that it won't all get done today haha!! There are only 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week, and that's not changing anytime soon. It has taught me to take things one day at a time, and one step at a time. Still, I struggle to relinquish the need to get it all done today. Take today for instance, I still have to place the flower order for my gramps funeral service (the florist shop was closed by the time I realized I still hadn't done it yet)...Make the digital invites and share it with family & friends (Currently in progress)...And write up my speech for the repass (every time I attempted to do this, I started to tear up, and figured tomorrow might be a better day for it). The point that I am trying to make is...It'll all eventually get done in due time, and it's OK Steph!
2.) You'll thank yourself for the things you got right in your 20s. For me, that was always being obsessed with skin care, and marching to the beat of my own drum (i.e. not drinking in excess and living a somewhat healthy lifestyle). It'll have people thinking that you're lowkey related to Ponce De León and have tapped into the fountain of youth when you tell them your real age.
3.) You care less and less about how people perceive you. You start to realize that much of those that cast negativity & doubt...Do it as a projection of their own thoughts, insecurities, & personal demons that they may be facing. You'd be surprised that a lot of times, deep down inside, they may actually mean well.
4.) Which brings me to this special point...Some people are just not gonna like you and it is your job to not give a flying f$#k! (Sorry, but the F bomb seemed most appropriate here haha!!). This rings especially true in today's day and age where everyone is seeking approval from a bunch of strangers on the internet...Scratch all of that, and do you boo! No matter how popular, infamous, or unpopular it makes you...Not fitting in, will be one of your best qualities.
5.) You'll question a lot of what you were taught growing up. This is normal and is a part of your journey to a spiritual awakening. And, honestly, it will continue throughout the rest of your life. I started to dive much deeper into my spirituality and my overall relationship with God, and doing so has largely altered the trajectory of how I currently view life. Ultimately, it has put me more in touch with my higher self.
6.) You thought you'd have everything figured out by now, and then you realize you just barely started to scratch the surface. I mean, I literally, rebranded and pivoted my entire business, and added Content Creator to the many hats I already wear. I also made a promise that I'd take you guys on the journey with me. I'm either crazy as hell or going through the notions of figuring out what it is I truly want for my life, while boldly stepping into that energy.
7.) A former beau of mine, used to think I was such a nerd for having designated routines for specific days of the week haha. As I got older, I realized it isn't nerdy at all, but truly essential and necessary for me to feel like I have some of my life together haha. Now, don't get me wrong, I still need to get my ish together on most days (haha!!), but could you imagine how much of a bigger hot mess I'd be if I didn't have my planner or my routine planned out?!
8.) You realize that you have food at home! And, that you should cook it whenever you get the chance! Cause baby' them grocery prices ain't going down anytime soon! Plus, your food taste much better anyway (at least mine does haha).
9.) It's ok if you haven't achieved all your goals yet, or you're not exactly where you wanna be. Remember, the sky's the limit and you just started to scratch the surface.
10.) Tomorrow isn't promised...You'll start to contemplate your own mortality and begin to truly be grateful for each passing day. You'll have way more gratitude for your overall health, and start to not take simple things like waking up...running your errands...And making it home safely, for granted.
11.) You start to realize that life isn't so much about money & material things, but more about experiences with the special people in your life. So make sure to make time for family & friends (the ones that make you feel good & bring positive vibes only!!).
12.) Lesson 11 segues into 12...Put up boundaries for anyone that brings anything short of positivity in your life. Yes, this goes for family & friends...You can love them from afar.
13.) All them things you said you'd NEVER DO...You start to actually do (i.e. sounding like your parents...Complaining that the music at a restaurant is too damn loud...Asking yourself...What kinda music is being played on mainstream radio, and being annoyed at teenagers for acting like...Well teenagers! You might find yourself saying things like..."Ain't it a school night?" and "Don't they got homework to do?!" You start to realize what your parent's meant when they said things like, "back in my day" haha!! I know I can't be the only one haha!!
14.) God will probably laugh at your future life plan with the specific timelines (i.e. marriage, children, the whole nine), but you still gotta trust Him and the process.
15.) Grieving loved ones never ends, and sometimes the surge of emotions comes in waves. You do not ever fully drop the load. Rather, you learn how to shift and carry it. If you need some help with this, then read my blog post on How To Deal With Grief. Everyone's journey is different, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
16.) I might be low-key bougie, and it's OK! I came to realize that I am just someone who appreciates life's little luxuries, along with it's simple pleasures (i.e. paying for valet parking isn't too much of a big deal to me; And I'm gonna wanna stay in the hotel suite with a balcony & scenic view when I travel...every.single.time). It doesn't make me materialistic. I just like nice things & convenience (shrugs shoulders). I mean, what else do you expect from a Taurus? We're ruled by the planet Venus for pete sake! Haha!! But, being this way has made me learn how important budgeting is. Not gonna lie, I was quite delusional in my 20s with my credit cards thinking they'd somehow pay for themselves (shaking my head). Whereas, in my 30s I'm all about attaining financial freedom. So yes, I like nice things, but the irony is that sometimes I am Frugal Fran, and now I am able to see the value of budgeting and spending in moderation.
17.) It's ok to keep things private. I've been this way for most of my life, and I have no regrets. I don't believe everything has to be shared. Yes, there are people rooting for you, but not everyone is. Therefore, only share what you feel comfortable sharing.
18.) Being classy & conservative is indeed still and will always be sexy. Class will never go out of style. Especially, in a world where the word has seemingly been removed from today's vernacular. Again, as I always say, not fitting in will be your best quality!
19.) Don't ever ignore your gut feeling. That is your spirit of discernment, and it won't ever lead you astray.
20.) Don't ever take advice from anyone that you wouldn't mind trading places with.
21.) It's ok to let your guard down around the right people. I am still learning how to do this.
22.) Comparison is truly the thief of joy, and sometimes jealousy & envy are the slimy little brothers that like to rear their little heads. So, do not succumb to that way of thinking because it'll be detrimental to your own personal growth & journey to success. Learn to be happy for other people's successes. Especially, when you do not know the great lengths they went through to become successful in their field.
23.) Mentally, you'll still feel like you're in your 20s, but your body will quickly remind you otherwise (haha!!), so make sure to take care of it! I started to take my health & fitness a little bit more seriously, and it has truly been one of the best things I've ever done for myself, and I look forward to continuing it.
24.) Try not to judge people when you do not have the full story. The scenarios we make up in our heads can be truly detrimental, especially, when they couldn't be farther from the truth! We don't know what other people are going through. Some people could literally be having a full-on mental breakdown, and still put up a really good front (myself included!). Therefore, learn to extend grace. People may sometimes seem snippy, but they might be going through their own personal stuff and don't mean to take it out on you.
25.) You'll start to really enjoy some healthier meals, and you'll dilute all your sugary drinks with water. Though, I did do that all throughout my 20s as well.
26.) If you have what you think is an out-of-this-world dream, idea, or career that scares you, then that's your sign (and here is my nudge) to GO FOR IT! Disclaimer, you won't initially get the support you think you will (especially, by some of your own family & friends, but you have to push through, and my advice is to not take it personally. For the most part, it is not done in malice because, realistically speaking, everyone's got their own thing going on. And, it's more so human nature that they reach out when they start to acknowledge the recognition you may be getting from the people that don't know you.
27.) You'll start to let soooo many things slide (albeit, except for disrespect) when you feel your peace being threatened in any way. You realize that your peace of mind takes precedence over literally everythinggg, versus giving your energy to anything toxic.
28.) You start to not give a damn about those things that you thought were sooo important in your 20s (i.e. celebrity gossip, the latest trends in fashion & music, people liking you, etc.).
29.) You realize things like 401K really do matter, and hopefully, you've already started investing in yours. But, you also realize that had you started in your early 20s, you'd be way ahead of the game!
30.) Finally, you realize that age is literally nothin' but a number. Even though the younger generations will have you feeling like you're as old as dirt haha!! Age doesn't define your strengths nor your weaknesses. Make sure, you defy the odds by living your life the way you were meant to...Limitless! Just always remember that the possibilities are endless.
This blog post is dedicated in loving memory of my late grandfather,
Marc Olga Marseille
Well, there you have it guys! I hope this post helped or inspired you to not look at your 30s as the beginning to the end, but rather just the BEGINNING! I hope it encourages you to step into your own, and stand on business for the rest of your 30s, if you have not done so already! If you enjoyed this post, then be sure to comment below, and let me know if any of the things I've learned, resonate with you as well. Please share it with your family, friends, colleagues, and anyone who you think could benefit from this post. And, make sure to subscribe to my VIP email guest list if you haven't done so already as to not miss any of the goodies I share every month. And, lastly, follow me on all things social (my tag handle for everything is @mariageblancdesigns). Until next time, adieu!
